Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
If that was your dad, he is hot
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
