so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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