Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
