He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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