3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I am naked and annoyed.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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