Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Randomize
