I looked at my own cervix.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
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