I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I FOUND THE LEGS
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
PANTIES FOUND
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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