i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize