It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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