Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
