if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
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