no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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