It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
