I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
