i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
