the day after is always just damage control
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
