this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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