Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
