you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
