Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
