you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
