Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one