What did we do last night that was yellow?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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