The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize