Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
