"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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