I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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