did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
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