how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
