look no pants
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
