OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize