We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
