dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
im holly from the hills drunk
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
