The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
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A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
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