his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
