I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
