actually, I'm a sock model
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
