did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I AM VODKA MAN
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Randomize
