something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
