3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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