I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
