pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
