I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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