New low: just hacked my moms facebook
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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