I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
