I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
sex in a hospital.. check
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
