trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
