I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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