I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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