carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
