I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
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The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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