i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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