I swear god or herbie drove my car home
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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