when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize