My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Randomize
