I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
we should paint friendship bongs
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