Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
