Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
