My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
