He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
