Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
