I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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