is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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