All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
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