My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
